Time had passed and I was still aching for my father and for a family but things were getting better. My mum had met C and I really like him. He was supportive and friendly and was not there to replace my father or take parental control over me and that made me happy because I had told myself before that if anyone tried to do this I would hate them. Thankfully C did not.
My mum and I then found a house in a village called Adisham. We weren’t actually planning on renting it we were just curious. When we went to look around the village seemed lovely. There was a train station and a bus stop (There were only two buses a day) and there was a huge park and the people there seemed kind. The house we were looking around was an okay size. There was a beautifully big garden that would look great with some work. The kitchen was small and so was the bathroom but that didn’t matter. There was a sitting room and a front room and a door that hid the stairs (we liked this touch very much) up stairs there were 3 bedrooms; a small box room, a big room that had a window overlooking the front garden and then a long but narrow room with a big cupboard, a small fire place, and a lovely window that was small and fairly low but it had a wide window sill and over looked the fields. I fell in love with this bedroom and wished we could move into this house. The walls were a very light pastel blue and I loved it. Little did we know that this was just a mask.
Eventually we did actually move into this house and I would finally have my own bedroom! I was both overcome with glee and also a bit nervous to not have to share a room with my tidy, study freak sister. I, of course, got the room I wanted. I had (and still have) a narrow but long white bed with a wooden board that went around both ends (a day bed basically) but also down one side and it had 3 big draws and a bed you could pull out, it came with two memory foam mattresses (I think it was from Ikea). I both love and hate this bed! It’s broken because we moved so much but never mind. My mum got some blue curtains to match the wall with pink roses on them and then a cream lampshade also with pink roses. I did like this room but it was very posh.
My mum had the big room. C was not going to move in because my mum and him hadn’t got married and we didn’t plan for him to move in anyway he was still living about 3 hours away with his son, J. SR had the box room and painted it turquoise and had a cool chandelier with butterflies on circle disk things (she still has it). F had the front room downstairs which was good because we used the back door not the front and the front room was down a hallway so he was cut off from the rest of the house- cutting the pong from his bedroom off. He made ‘friends’ with the village boys which soon turned out to be a big mistake. He has never admitted to it being a mistake but my mum, SR and I hated these rude, annoying little ratty children that were constantly bashing on our door asking if F was in. We just ignored them and they stopped knocking. There was no shop in this village and so we had to get the on ‘every hour’ train to Canterbury which was expensive. Also we soon found out that this house had many problems and because we didn’t own the house we couldn’t complain about the fact that they were planning to sell 3/4 of the garden so someone could build two houses.
SIDE NOTE: We left the two cats we had at the beginning of our lives in France, Dickens (I think that was his name- could have been another cat [we/parents had a lot of cats]) ran away and we never saw him again and Cymbeline died at the age of 19- she was blind and only had 3 working legs and there were two kittens constantly annoying her (She died on Christmas eve/morning- SD found her, we weren’t there at the time.We had got Molly before we moved to Adisham, she was three when we got her and she was a rescue cat so she was free- I donated my £2.50 pocket money! She was mine and SR’s cat and we loved her! Back to life:
We discovered all the problems with the house and there were now many things we hated. When the builders came to build on our garden we were furious. They were not a proper company- they were a family thing they had two children who, at one point, kept crossing onto our side. The builders were so close to my sisters window it was disturbing. They took ages to do anything and had SO many breaks. I’m not going to go on and on about how annoying they were, but I will tell you this; we had great fun making fun of them! Before they had actually finished building we gave up. We couldn’t put up with the village, the people, the school bus (don’t even get me started on those journeys). So yet again me moved.
This is the house I am currently in and I love it, you get use to moving and loving new spaces but I mean it this time. We live in Canterbury and the house is big and, we still, have our own rooms. I love sharing a room with Molly although we argue a lot about who takes up most of the bed and who makes the most mess but other than that she’s great company.
Anyway before we moved and we were still in Adisham another big disrupt happened. This is one of the worst for me.
SD had come down for a holiday for his 17th birthday. We were going to go and see Harry Potter in the cinema and we were waiting for the train. SR and I were worried because he kept dropping hints about seeing our dad and going away or whatever. By this moment in life F was very easy to persuade into doing anything, he was stupid really (no offence to him or anything but he is just so thick), it was only on special occasions we got on- Like Christmas or mothers day. So he was easy to take control of. SR now hated my father and I was stuck in the middle because I still loved him but didn’t want to hurt anyone.
So we got to the train station and we were waiting and waiting and just as the train came, my father was walking across the bridge. We argued with SD and we actually held up the train because we told him to get off and he told us to get on. In the end he left on the train and we stayed on the platform (the police later went looking for him but he passed them on the train and they didn’t notice). So then everything got out of hand. Luckily no one came to get a train and so no one could actually hear what we were saying.
Pap’ asked us if we wanted to go on a picnic or something. F looked at me, and I told him no. He may be older but he’s like my younger brother- I got him out of fights and I was more mature than him. He stood by the railing with his head down and playing with the blades of grass coming through the fence, with his foot. SR was furious. She went right down the other end of the platform and called Mam’ who then had to call the police. I was left with him. My own father. The one I loved and longed to see and I couldn’t bare to hurt him. I may be young but I’m smart and I understand my situation even when people think I don’t- they know nothing about me. No matter how much I hated Yvonne and the court and police for what they did, I knew that there was a law in place and I knew that everyone was at risk of getting into trouble if I went off with him. I was dying to say “Yes! Lets go out for the day!” But I knew what could happen if I did. He could get arrested, he might take us back to France he could do anything.
I hated what I did next. I had to look him in the eyes and tell him that I loved him but I couldn’t go away with him. That he should never have come and that he had to go; he still looked hurt even though I explained it was for the best and that he was breaking the law. We were there for over an hour. I know this because the police came and they made everything so dramatic and then another train came- they only came once an hour. People were staring at us and I just glared back giving them the evils…as you do. In the end some police took my dad and were going to the police station but before they drove off he looked at me with a sadden smile and waved- it crushed my heart. I cried.
The other two police men took us home in their car, even though we lived, like, a minute away they said we may not go home or we may go after him so they had to make sure. All the while I was thinking: “Oh yeah sure we will go after him when he’s in the back of a police car! Oh you’re so clever!”. When we got home I went straight upstairs with SR. The police were talking to my mum. I didn’t mind being with SR she cheered me up and gave me Werthers Originals (I can’t spell). Sebastian eventually came home and told us that the police never actually caught up with him. They must be getting old! 🙂
All the while I was hurting but didn’t really like to let it show. I had begun to argue occasionally with my mum about this family rubbish.
The next year SD came with his girlfriend for Christmas. It was a lovely holiday, I loved his girlfriend, she was lovely and we shared a room that holiday. She was really pretty and gothic (I had begun to turn slightly gothic by this stage) and she was just so kind. She was from Madagascar but she lived in France and went to a boarding school near the one SD went to (they went home at weekends). We had a lovely time and C was there too. So it was even better.
However on Christmas eve- which was when SD and his girlfriend arrived- my dad turned up. He was dropping them off, fair enough, but he came into the house and then the arguing started. C didn’t want to get involved because it wasn’t his battle to fight, and he didn’t want to make me upset by shouting at him, and I thank him dearly for that. Mam’ got angry and Pap’ got angry and SR got angry. F, SD and his girlfriend just stayed out of the way in F’s room. I sat on the sofa and cried. Then SR said “See your making her upset!” and I hated to say this to her but I replied “No! He’s not- you and Mam’ are making me upset!” I was upset because they wouldn’t let him drop of the bags and say hello to his children. I never even got to hug him. In the end I went up stairs and found C in my mum’s bedroom. I didn’t know this until a few months ago but the only thing that made him stay was what I did next; I hugged him. He didn’t understand how anyone could cope with a man like my father, like many people have said but I hugged him and he stayed. In the end my mum rang the police again, they stayed till 3 in the morning and Pap’ spent Christmas eve in a cell. I got up in the morning and at 8 o’clock another police man came to the door. My mum was angry but put up with it. SD’s girlfriend came down in a dressing gown with me to get breakfast and she kissed the police man on the cheek! She was French and so she did this to everyone but the police man looked startled. It was really funny. Anyway after that we had a great Christmas and we fell in love with SD’s girl friend.
Nothing that bad happened after that apart from the builders and stuff.
Mam’ and C got married on 25th May 2013 and it was lovely. It was sunny and everything went well. They went to York for a week and we went to stay in Maidstone with our Aunty and Uncle and our two year old cousin Olivia- who is so cute! She liked me a lot and I loved her a lot.
We moved house on the 1st of August that year and it was the day before Mam’ went to France for SD’s 18th Birthday. It was hard for me when SD found out she was married. He wasn’t invited because he didn’t want to go, but even when we thought of asking him again we decided against it in case he told our dad. So he was hurt by the fact that Mam’ had got married. He didn’t like C- he wouldn’t like anyone who was in his place. Mam’ got hurt because SD said he wasn’t going to talk to her until she got ‘un-married’, I was hurt because SD was angry and for a while I thought it was at me when we were emailing each other. But now we are happy again although his contact with Mam’ is still short and brief and not very loving.
Things were settling down but I couldn’t settle my self. Too much silence, is a sign that a storm is coming.